WHAT I'VE LEARNED AFTER 25 YEARS

the ones who say "i sin no more"

are the ones that you let stay

the ones that frown and shrug it off 

are the good ones who behave

but i can only tell the truth

as you send me to my grave

you're teaching me the truth is void

you're teaching me to lie

the one who says it's her not me

is the one who gets the raise

i know my strengths and weaknesses 

yet you put me in a daze

you say the fault is never yours

because that's the phrase that pays

you're teaching me the truth is void

you're teaching me to lie

when you say i am the one to blame

step back and take a look

i only want to show i care 

and be an open book

but telling only truth to you

makes me the evil crook

you're teaching me the truth is void

you're teaching me to lie

WAITING FOR GINA TO COME HOME

project runway marathon

being this judgemental is really exhausting

...hope i'm burning calories

bad seam work

terrible butt ruffle

black swan!

ca-sa-no-va!

over caffinated

angry heart palpatations

kitchen is a mess

i gained ten pounds from the rizzoto

...with bacon

waiting for you to come home

my eye balls are burning

i turned off all the lights 

and turned up the ticking sound on all the clocks

i have to sleep

text me later

LIVE FULL

i better live fast,
because i might die young.

so many hours of unaccounted time
so many words with unaccounted rhyme
every moment here is fleeting
every moment death i'm cheating
shallow breath but still heart beating.

beating beating steady heart
i never knew- you were the broken part
knees are weak and ankels too
but joints can't turn my face to blue
ache and pain felt in my soul
but beating heart- you had the hole

every moment here is fleeting

every moment death i'm cheating.

fill life's cup to the very brim

forget these words that are so grim

and say it now in pen and tongue

i better live fast, 

because i might die young.

I'M NOT A FAN

celing fan?
i need a man.
one who can install a celing fan.
celing fan?
i'm not a fan.
today i'm a woman with the skills of a man.
well, any man that i've ever dated...
the very same skills that i've berated.

i'm unable to install.
celing fan- you're my downfall.
clean up my mess it's over now,
put back together, well, i did somehow.

it looks okay but it doesnt work,
 i need the help of some wiry jerk.
a jerk that will intall a fan,
i can't do it. i need a man.
damn.

SLOUCHING COUCH

tears, slouch, frown, drown...

maiden in an old stone crown.

all the walls and floors are brown-

all the walls and floor in town.

all the trees and grass are brown-

all the trees and grass in town.

heavy crown and heavy frown-

i wear them in the old brown town.

heavy crown and heavy frown-

i'm drowning in a sea of brown,

i'm browning in a sea of frowns,

crushed underneith my heavy crown.

slouching on an old brown couch-

tears and frown befriend my slouch,

tears from pain but not from "ouch,"

pondering- on my slouching couch.

brown is plain and brown is dead,

my crown of thoughts is heavy lead,

my thoughts too heavy if unsaid,

heavy thoughts stuck in my head,

heavy crown leap from my head,

and rest- my mind- in unbrown bed.

cake ideas for allie

MATT CAMERON- DRUMMER

my creepy new old man crush, not that he is creepy, but the fact that i am attracted to older men is creepy. he is the drummer for Sound Garden and used to be the drummer for Pearl Jam. i like his big nose, thin frame and slick smile. shocker....