SQUASH

eating yellow squash 

from a yellow bowl

eating healthy foods

setting healthy goals

brewing some tea 

and brewing some thoughts

steam rises from the cup

and rises from the pot

creamy tea soothing my throat

buttery squash melts in my mouth

everything is still 

there is peace in the house

sad puppy eyes look up at me

tiny little tongue licks my knee

you won't like this squash 

it's not for dogs

it's for grown up girls 

who work hard at their jobs

and come home to a house

quiet and still

sit down at the table

with tea and with squash

with pots in the sink

that i have yet to wash

and a head full of thoughts

that i have yet to squash 

TINKERING BY THE POOL

for my papa jack who has gone to heaven

how do the leaves get through the screen?

maybe there's a hole.

i'll check.

no hole.

....

shit.

must be that damn tree by the shed

i'll cut it down tomorrow.

water temperature?

a brisk 70 degrees

if the yellow turns red

and the greens turns to blue

then the chlorine levels 

are just right

check.

time for my lunch break

tuna melt.

always good.

boy i'm lucky.

what a doll.

porpoises?

inflated.

for the time being...

speaking of which here come the kids

darling little monsters

what's that?

you want to put to the furniture in the pool to build a... bunny hut?

....

i suppose.

as long as you take it back out.

why don't you dive in?

okay i'll count you down

one for the money!

two for the show!

three to get ready!

and four 

to 

go! 

i started to write this next one but didn't like it as much for the memorial 

oh what a wonderful journey it's been

i'll write it all down from beginning to end

a new dream a new page is rising within 

after all these years, oh the message i'll send

if given the chance i'd do it again!

with love and with words, each heart i will mend

my novel is finished but, but now yours begins

TO END- WITH BOTH FRIENDS

it begins with amends

to live gentile and free

to open our eyes 

and truly to see

to avoid our demise

that lurks with surprise

stay still and let be 

or let both come to me

and profess they believe

in a vibrant reprise

to end- with both friends

both women intact

to cease and desist

to dissolve the attack

to bleed from our hearts 

and cry from our lips

create us anew   

a rebirth from the hips

to tear away hate

and rebuild a trust

forgiveness is now

or else it's just dust

FOR HAVEN

a bright star amid debris

when i look at you

that's what i see

shinning in the present 

and blinding yet to be

trapped in a box

molten fiery star

peak in that box

and it's light shines unfathomably far

it peaks in windows and over hearths

the box is life the box is earth

no lodging here for such a star

perhaps the sky, but that's too far

perhaps a supernova 

creating a million from one

and give each person a piece of you 

to be a light when theirs is done

a piece of you kept in there palm

when opened up

becomes their balm

a light that heals

for a world that feels 

much more than it can ever bear

your peeking light

is their bright glare

you'll blind the world from hurt and pain

give all your light and earn no gain

shine on the world, outside your box

and spread your light like chicken pox

a bright star amid debris

when i look at you 

that's what i see

shinning in the present 

and blinding yet to be 

MY BUTT HURTS

my butt hurts

and when i move

pain comes in spurts

it hurts so fierce

i really mean it

it was quite the sight

if you had seen it

i stood on a scooter 

and got real low

attempted to move

and whada know

nothing could stop me 

from what happened next

i fell smack on my butt

and bruised my coccyx

can't ride my bike 

or climb the stairs

can't touch my toes

or sit in chairs

it hurts to dance 

but not to stand 

if you've hurt your butt

you'd understand

i'm angry that it hurts so bad

when the pain is gone 

i'll sure be glad

it hurts especially when i sneeze

stop laughing guys! come on, geeze! 

HERE COMES THE RAIN

planting in my yard today 

a relocation from dismay

my plants were weary scorched from the sun

in a new quaint home, life has begun

i till the soil and remove tree roots

my garden is small, but for me it suits

my hands are dirty in the earth

my hands are longing for rebirth

i grab big clumps and dig right in

to use a glove would be a sin

my nails are dirty red and black

i'm almost done, no turning back

dirt on my face, sweat on my brow

bring on the storms i need them now

i push my roots deep in the earth

my roots are ready for rebirth

my tiny pot is long forgot

as i engulf my freedom sought

clouds begin to block my light 

leaves are trembling from such fright

the heavy drops they hit with pain

i hold on tight, here comes the rain 

WE'LL WEATHER TOGETHER

together together we'll weather the weather
we'll weather the weather, whether we're ready or not
together we'll weather the dry and the hot
we'll weather together, most any old weather
if it storms in our minds, then we'll weather our thought.

i'll hold the umbrella while you get the keys
or we'll both make a run for it, whatever we please
we'll weather together, most any old weather
we'll weather together all life's stormy seas.

come rain, come hail, come black windy night
we'll weather the darkness with weather proof sight
we'll weather together, most any old weather
if we weather together we'll both be alright.

storm clouds, lightning and thunder abound
when weather is frightfull no hopes to be found
we'll weather together, most any old weather
if we weather together we'll be safe and sound.

i'll batten the hatches, you bring down the sail
we'll be beaten by swells and blown by the gale
we'll weather together, most any old weather
when we weather together our weather can't fail.

together together we'll weather the weather

we'll weather the weather, whether we're ready or not.

TOAST

toast toast
you the most
i hear angels singing in a heavenly host

crunchy
dry
golden brown
if only you grew from the ground

soft and buttery
lots of crumbs
if i lose my teeth
i'll gnaw with my gums

rough and rugged
like a western cowboy
white wheat or rye
they all bring me joy

unleven bread
your not so bad
but a little yeast would make me glad

a thick slice of
sourdough or pumpernickel
gives my tastebuds quite the tickel

my loaf of bread will soon be gone
put down that knife
leave the crust on

food of the gods
slathered with jam
created for me
from the great i am

WAITING FOR MY MUSE

if i could only have one dream tonight 

may it be of you

i'll wish upon a hundred stars 

and hope that dream comes true

and while i'm waiting for the truth 

i won't know what to do

as i wonder when you dream

do you think the same thing too

all this wondering all day long

has got me feeling blue

i'd rather never know the truth

and keep you as my muse

I AM WONDER WOMAN

i am wonder woman!
though i always wonder which one i will wake up as....

YOU ARE AMAZING

do words mean less if too many people hear them?
is any thought more valuable if only one person thinks it?
is art more original if only a few get to enjoy it?
are lyrics less powerful if everyone knows the artist?
is any person less amazing because they have met too many people?

No.

It is a great disservice to deny the world any part of the amazing person that you are, or the amazing things you have done and have yet to do.

i am better for having known you
the world is better because you are in it
be yourself
now is the time to be who you always knew you were meant to be
the world needs you
no matter your age
you are too young
and too loved
to have settled on living a miserable life.
cutting yourself off from the world
cutting your life short
using shyness and fear as excuses
these things are wrong
and harmful
to you
to the world.
happiness and originaly are all arround you
let them be in you.
reach the full extent of your potential
how you do it
is up to you
but start now
be amazing
the world is waiting

MY FAVORITE MEMORY

i think of you in january
and what we coud have been
the song i sing and think of you
i say i wrote for him
years pass by as years they do
all chances now seem grim
a light of hope that glimered once
is almost out and dim

but in it's smouldering ashes left
a coal that burns for you
it keeps me warm in january
when i'm feeling blue
and when your thoughts are filled with smoke
and life's left you with no clue
the smoke is from that smouldering coal
that burns within you too

the cold sea air ignights our coals
and sets our souls on fire
for every year in january
the north wind brings desire
when it's cold i think of you
breath heavy and perspire
every smile laugh or thought
is something i admire

one day life's wind will blow our sails
and crash our ships on sand
we'll meet upon that rocky shore
lock eyes and join in hands
i think of you in january
and marvel at life's plan

GOOD RIDDANCE

Will You Even Say Goodbye?
the ones who taught us how to live
the ones who taught us how to "die"
just drive away and leave us here
... or maybe you should fly...

looking in your rear view mirror
will you even breath a sigh?
remember times we laughed together
as we ruled the world on high
and when that world came crashing down
as it was built on lie.

trickery and deceipt still linger,
in the broken hearts of her- and i
you left our souls and now our forms
Will You Even Say Goodbye?

WHAT I'VE LEARNED AFTER 25 YEARS

the ones who say "i sin no more"

are the ones that you let stay

the ones that frown and shrug it off 

are the good ones who behave

but i can only tell the truth

as you send me to my grave

you're teaching me the truth is void

you're teaching me to lie

the one who says it's her not me

is the one who gets the raise

i know my strengths and weaknesses 

yet you put me in a daze

you say the fault is never yours

because that's the phrase that pays

you're teaching me the truth is void

you're teaching me to lie

when you say i am the one to blame

step back and take a look

i only want to show i care 

and be an open book

but telling only truth to you

makes me the evil crook

you're teaching me the truth is void

you're teaching me to lie

WAITING FOR GINA TO COME HOME

project runway marathon

being this judgemental is really exhausting

...hope i'm burning calories

bad seam work

terrible butt ruffle

black swan!

ca-sa-no-va!

over caffinated

angry heart palpatations

kitchen is a mess

i gained ten pounds from the rizzoto

...with bacon

waiting for you to come home

my eye balls are burning

i turned off all the lights 

and turned up the ticking sound on all the clocks

i have to sleep

text me later

LIVE FULL

i better live fast,
because i might die young.

so many hours of unaccounted time
so many words with unaccounted rhyme
every moment here is fleeting
every moment death i'm cheating
shallow breath but still heart beating.

beating beating steady heart
i never knew- you were the broken part
knees are weak and ankels too
but joints can't turn my face to blue
ache and pain felt in my soul
but beating heart- you had the hole

every moment here is fleeting

every moment death i'm cheating.

fill life's cup to the very brim

forget these words that are so grim

and say it now in pen and tongue

i better live fast, 

because i might die young.

I'M NOT A FAN

celing fan?
i need a man.
one who can install a celing fan.
celing fan?
i'm not a fan.
today i'm a woman with the skills of a man.
well, any man that i've ever dated...
the very same skills that i've berated.

i'm unable to install.
celing fan- you're my downfall.
clean up my mess it's over now,
put back together, well, i did somehow.

it looks okay but it doesnt work,
 i need the help of some wiry jerk.
a jerk that will intall a fan,
i can't do it. i need a man.
damn.

SLOUCHING COUCH

tears, slouch, frown, drown...

maiden in an old stone crown.

all the walls and floors are brown-

all the walls and floor in town.

all the trees and grass are brown-

all the trees and grass in town.

heavy crown and heavy frown-

i wear them in the old brown town.

heavy crown and heavy frown-

i'm drowning in a sea of brown,

i'm browning in a sea of frowns,

crushed underneith my heavy crown.

slouching on an old brown couch-

tears and frown befriend my slouch,

tears from pain but not from "ouch,"

pondering- on my slouching couch.

brown is plain and brown is dead,

my crown of thoughts is heavy lead,

my thoughts too heavy if unsaid,

heavy thoughts stuck in my head,

heavy crown leap from my head,

and rest- my mind- in unbrown bed.